Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
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We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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