just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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