Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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