It's like a parade of train wrecks.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize