How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
