that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
