So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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