First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
