Screwed.edu
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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