Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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