i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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