I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
