Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
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Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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