Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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