THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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