So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
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Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.