theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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