Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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