is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize