I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
