I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
this will be a night to untag.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
