not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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