He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
