I love black thongs
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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