so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
