Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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