talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
