He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
