there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
