i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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