quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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