fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
