i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize