did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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