craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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