ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
