Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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