Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I can text with my tongue
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
