just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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