dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
