ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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