guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
