What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
