Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
