I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
