Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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