i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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