i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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