You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
