just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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