that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she peed on how many people?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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