I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
