How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
