HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Terrible idea I love it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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